Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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