Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
