you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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