I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
