On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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