Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
