so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
