Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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