her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
