gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
