Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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