All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
