did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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