I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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