We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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