Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I need water and some morals
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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