You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
