hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
