i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
