i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
