Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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