I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
