i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
