Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
