i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
