if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
