I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
