Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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