Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
