Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
