Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
