During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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