i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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