Im at strip club and am horny
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
