the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
