3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
