He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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