You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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