Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
