And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
so much tequila, so little girl.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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