There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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