Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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