I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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