I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
