bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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