Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
