well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My ass is underappreciated
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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