so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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