And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
