Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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